Tuesday, August 22, 2006

An Encounter with the Police

Four Friends were having a gay old time playing some Risk: 2210 AD. Bennet S. had emerged victorious in a struggle with Anderson B. and Chase J. when their axis of evil collapsed under the stress of paranoia and deceit. Wykes J.(no that’s too obvious, so lets call him Joey W.) suggested it was time to go get pizza. Anderson B. had recently purchased a disposable camera and wanted to take five more pictures, so he could get them developed, and took a picture of Chase J. taking a picture of him.

Along the way to Pizza Hut, the group stopped at Visser M.’s house to chat with him and Bilton J. After arriving at the Pizza Hut in Smith Falls, it was not long before Anderson B. took a picture of Bennet S. and Chase J. being intimate. Chase J. began to notice an itch in his groin, but struggled to scratch at it due to the confines of the table. Anderson B. immediately observed the humor in Chase J.’s predicament, and demanded to take a picture. Chase J. refused and made Anderson B. put away the camera, and then he resumed his awkward scratching only to find his crotch lighting up from underneath the table.

On the way home, the group passed 2 physically endowed women hitchhiking and eventually decided to pick them up. After turning around, passing them, and turning around again, the ladies squished into the back seat with Bennet S. and Joey W. After Bennet S. commented on the suggestively low proximity between himself and Joey W., Anderson B. turned around to take a picture. Unfortunately, the ladies were returning home to comply with a 9:00 pm curfew, and were therefore unavailable to star in Anderson B.’s pornography shoot.

The foursome then returned to Visser M.’s house for a status report on the party search, and were informed of a party taking place at the Brooker residence. It was at this point that Joey W. decided to end his participation in the adventure, a decision that would prove to have been wise. The party now decided to park Bilton J.’s and Anderson B.’s vehicle at the school, and they could all drive together to the party. Coincidently, the school was holding a play: A Midsummer Nights dream, and Discovering Stone C. in fairy makeup, Anderson B. took his fifth picture.

Noting a volume inconvenience in Chase J.’s vehicle, the trunk was cleared, and Bilton J. volunteered for trunk duty after being provided with pillows for cranium support. Along the way to the party, the five friends had a jolly good laugh by passing other vehicles while Bennet S. and Visser M. simulated a paddling motion for a Native American vessel, and to complete this hilarity, Bilton J. would open the trunk and wave to the other vehicles. It was indeed hilarious to imagine the shock on people’s faces seeing some guy trapped in a trunk, but unknown to us, our prank was taken far more seriously that we intended.

Unfortunately, the five friends discovered at Brooker’s party an excessive amount of male genitalia in the population, and the group decided to go home at around 1:00 am, although not before Bennet S. had succeeded in becoming intoxicated.

What the party was unaware of was that the police had been notified of their reckless behavior by one of the vehicles they had passed. Driving down the main road, the group saw a single cruiser waiting in the parking lot of the grocery store, and then Visser M. informed Bilton J. “Don’t look now Johnny, there’s a cop.” For whatever reason, Bilton J. thought he had to see this for himself, and while he was exposing himself to the cruiser, he said “Really? Where? Oh! There it is!” The cruiser lights turned on and began following us.

After seeing the police lights, Chase J. panicked yelling to Bilton J. “Get the Fuck Out of the Trunk Johnny!” Chase J. drove to the school, and while turning, missed the pavement and drove over the lawn nearly making contact with the school sign out front. Bennet S. decided that this was a good time to go home on foot, but only made it a little way before the cruiser stopped him. While Bennet S. was making a valiant effort at faking soberity, another cruiser had pulled up beside Chase J’s vehicle, and asked the group if there was someone in their trunk. With Bilton J. now innocently in the back seat, Chase J. claimed that there wasn’t anybody in the trunk, and permitted the officer to take a harmless look. The officer saw for herself that there was nothing in the trunk except for two pillows sitting harmlessly off to the side.

Smelling marijuana, the officer asked the boys who had been smoking cannabis. After an awkward silence, Anderson B. said that they were not smoking cannabis; it was just the other people at the party they were previously present for. Somewhat satisfied with this answer, the officer asked Anderson B. to open up the glove compartment so she could check for rolling papers. Anderson B. complied, and a blue cloth was the only item in the glove compartment. Anderson B. thought to himself that a clever stoner might hide rolling papers inside the cloth, so at his own initiative, Anderson B. elegantly opened up the cloth to reveal that were no rolling papers hidden. The officer just starred at Anderson B. and said “those aren’t rolling papers,” clearly implying stupidity by her voice tone. Now convinced that we had been smoking wee, the officer asked the boys to get out of the vehicle, and talked to each one of them privately. Bennet S. had been sent back to the car while the officer was talking to Anderson B., who was informing her of their activities up to this point. The officer quickly spotted that Bennet S. was intoxicated, and after asking him his age(17), she put him in that back of the cruiser.

The officer sent all the boys back to the car while she gave Bennet S. a breathalyzer. The group looked on helplessly while Bennet S. scored an “A for arrest” for his intoxication. The officer said she would just give Bennet S. a liquor ticket of $130, and this would be punishment for the entire group instead of charging them for trespassing, reckless endangerment while operating a vehicle, and about five other more charges that Bennet S. can no longer remember. The boys agreed that maybe they should take it easy for a little while before partying again.



At 6:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Brettski,

Do you own a jet ski? I like your story.

At 6:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Brettski:

Apropos your 9/19/07 AP.O post: No one ever Judges the Jury my friend.

ITY 2525 + 1010 =
Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies.
Everything you think, do and say, is in the pill you took today.


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